While ABC is left licking its wounds, Allen and Barr seem unbothered. In fact, the two are reportedly in talks with several other networks and streaming platforms eager to pick up where ABC left off. Fox News, naturally, has already reached out to the duo, hoping to bring them aboard for their new streaming service, Fox Nation. “We know there’s an audience for this kind of show,” a Fox executive said, “and we’re more than happy to give Tim and Roseanne a platform where they can be themselves—without the fact-checkers.”

But Allen and Barr may have even bigger plans. In an era of DIY media, the pair is also considering launching their own platform, where they can control the narrative, unfiltered and uncensored. With their combined star power and a legion of fans ready to tune in, it wouldn’t be surprising if America Uncanceled found a new home—free from the constraints of traditional networks and the “woke mob.”

For now, Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr have drawn a line in the sand, walking away from ABC and setting their sights on a future where their humor and politics can reign free. The cancellation of their show marks another chapter in the ever-evolving culture war, where free speech, cancel culture, and “wokeness” are at the heart of the battle.

As for ABC, they’ve learned the hard way that trying to please everyone can often lead to pleasing no one. And in a world where fact-checking the president can cost you an entire show, it’s clear that the line between news and entertainment is blurrier than ever.

NOTE: This is SATIRE, Not Real News.