“Our motto is simple,” Ramsay said with a smirk. “Good food, no fuss. And if that offends anyone, well… they weren’t our customers to begin with.”

As for whether this restaurant chain could ever open its doors in blue states, both Ramsay and Shaq laughed. “Let’s start with the red states,” Shaq said. “If people in the blue states start craving a taste of freedom, maybe we’ll consider it.”

NOTE: This is SATIRE, It’s Not True.