How, you might wonder, did Harris manage to graduate? The professors have an answer for that, too: charm. “Kamala has always been incredibly likable,” Professor Barnes admitted. “Even when she was dodging questions and laughing off deadlines, you couldn’t help but like her. She was friendly, she was personable, and she always seemed genuinely excited to be there—even if she had no idea what was going on.”

Johnston agreed. “Kamala had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the room, even if she wasn’t paying attention to a single thing you said. I don’t know how she did it, but she had this aura about her. You just wanted her to succeed, even when she clearly wasn’t putting in the effort.”

In the end, it seems Harris’s charm carried her further than most students could dream. “I’m still not entirely sure how she passed my class,” Johnston admitted, laughing. “But here she is—one step away from the presidency. So, maybe she was onto something after all.”

When asked to comment on her professors’ claims, Harris reportedly laughed—a deep, resonant laugh that anyone familiar with her debates has heard countless times. “Well, I may not have been the best student, but I had fun, didn’t I?” she said with a smile. “Besides, life is about more than grades, isn’t it? It’s about relationships, about connecting with people. And I think I did that pretty well.”

Harris went on to joke that her professors had always underestimated her. “You know, they say I didn’t give straight answers, but here I am. Maybe all that dodging and weaving was just practice for politics. Who knew?”